How to Get Your Teen to See a Therapist—When They Don’t Want To!

If you’re a parent of a tween or teen who’s struggling emotionally but refuses to see a mental health professional, you’re not alone. Many families face this challenge. You can see they need support—but how do you help when they don’t want it?

Teenagers especially can be fiercely independent, and often the more you push, the more they dig their heels in. But the good news is that there are ways to guide them gently toward help, while still respecting their autonomy.

1. Start with Curiosity, Not Control

Instead of trying to convince or push them, try to understand why they don’t want to go. Are they scared it means something is “wrong” with them? Do they worry about being judged or forced to talk about things before they're ready?

Ask questions like:

• “What makes you uncomfortable about seeing someone?”

• “What do you think will happen in a session?”

Often, their resistance stems from fear, embarrassment, or not knowing what to expect. Identifying the core reason can help you respond in a way that makes them feel seen rather than pressured.

2. Let Them Know They’re in Control

Teens respond much better when they feel like they have some power in the process. Let them know:

“Just try one session. If you really don’t like it, you don’t have to go again.”

This helps remove the fear of being “stuck” in therapy and shows them you trust their judgement. Often, the first step is the hardest—and one positive session can change their whole perspective.

3. Talk About What’s Not Working

Invite them to reflect on how they’re feeling right now. You might say:

“You don’t have to go, but I do want you to think about whether you’re really happy with how things are going right now. If something needs to change, it’s OK to ask for help.”

This type of conversation shifts the focus from “you need therapy” to “are you okay with how things are?” If they’re struggling, this may open the door to considering support on their terms.

4. Debunk the Therapy Myths

Many young people still believe the old clichés—that therapy means you’re broken, or that a psychologist will just sit and ask, “How does that make you feel?” on repeat.

Explain that today’s therapists often work in practical, solution-focused ways. It’s not always about “deep feelings” right away—sometimes it’s learning tools to handle stress, friendships, school pressure, or big emotions.

5. Try a Coach or Counsellor Instead

Some kids don’t connect with the word “therapist” or “psychologist.” It can help to frame it differently:

• “You could try a mental health coach—they’re more like someone who helps you work out what’s going on and gives you strategies to handle it.”

• “You don’t even have to talk about everything—just start with what’s bugging you most.”

Language matters. Tweens and teens often respond better to more approachable terms.

6. Lead by Example

If you’ve ever seen a counsellor or coach yourself, share that. If not, you could say:

“Sometimes I feel stuck too, and I think talking to someone would help. What if we both give it a go?”

Normalising therapy as something that supports your wellbeing (not something you need because you’re “not coping”) helps to take the stigma away.

Your child has to want change for it to work—but your role as a parent is to help plant the seed. Keep the conversation open and pressure low. Offer options, not ultimatums. And remember: even if they say “no” today, your calm, compassionate approach may make it easier for them to say “yes” tomorrow.

If you're not sure where to start, many mental health professionals are happy to speak with parents first to help you work out the best way to approach your child.